i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
its liver damage thursday
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
