what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
My dad just said "fuck circus"
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize
