YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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