There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize