Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
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