This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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