apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
did you just send me my own nude
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
