I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
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