Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
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