I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
