I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Randomize
