"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
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