Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
