there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Randomize
