the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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