headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
