i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
