why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
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