youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Randomize
