My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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