My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize
