Already got asked if we're dating
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Randomize
