I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Randomize
