I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize