This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
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She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
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