tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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