In the future we'll all be gay
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
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