are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
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