I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
