Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
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I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
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Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
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