she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
two words...techno handjob
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
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