that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I enjoy the company of your penis
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
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