I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
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