I think scott just propositioned me for sex
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I think a kid would responsible me up
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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