I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
lol hangovers are for mortals.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize
