By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
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