Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Randomize
