'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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