your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
