The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
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