hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Randomize
