is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Damn victory sex feels great
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Randomize
