So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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