basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
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