I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
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