I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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