I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Randomize
