just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize