Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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