can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize