I swear she didn't look like that last week.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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