Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
He called his prostate his "boner button".
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Randomize
