Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Randomize
