Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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