Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Boobs speak an international language.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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