I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
you had me at cake vodka
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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