come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
