Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
