Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Randomize
