You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
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