Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Randomize
